I was important! I was an crucial guest at a conference, at an election conference. I met the most distinguished people in the country who gave me their hand. They greeted each other, they spoke politely. And it was me – Deke – the progressive blogger! To be individual with whom they count, whom they notice; not a shadow on the wall, not an obstacle in the corridor, but a person, even for 1 evening, for a fewer hours, ba, even for half an hour, but to be more than a mean native, a village fool, a lousy Pole! And I was. It was an honor for me, for me, for Wacka – a blogger of modest, yet progressive. And it was like this.
I owe this to my guru, the spiritual father of Wielka, the Honourable Mordecai Mordecaiovich Burumstein, vice-chief of the celebrated newspaper. He, the large husband, the large Mordecai Mordecaiovich Burumstein, erstwhile he called me to his office in the chariot of gazeta, after proceeding the warm expressions of gratitude, after taking steps and kissing my hand repeatedly, yet breaks my thank-yous and wipes my hand with his pants will most graciously say:
- Nu chwatt’! Pajdzisz for the possessions for the gathering of the progressive party, cotorije parajetsia present the wind. Eto ants is important. Samaja wierchina, samaja a nutritive pair of progressive coalitions and trusted sournalists of our media sobirajetsia sztuki pogoritami about past checks. Nu, our asses got hit again. And the offspring of the sobirajetsia sztoba stymat’, szto went wage, szto nada change’, due to the fact that the fresh one, even more crucial elections. Jesi eti nationalist and reversers win again, and build the regulation of the next 5 years, eto wakes the worst. For gazettes, for she did not last the next 5 on bread and water, for ob-priests and for villages of people, cotorije love advancement and freedom. It was, it was. Nada meets’ and a reflection of a fresh strategy, the catyrija will give us a triumph in the next election. Most crucial is the fresh state.
Here the esteemed Mordecai Mordecaiovich bent, groaned patheticly, grabbed his belly and ran into these shoots where the king walked. It is worth noting that Mordecai Mordecaiovich as the second individual in the editorial office of the gazette next to the cabinet had his own bathroom lined with Karrarian marble, decorated with gold and Czech glass. He didn't gotta run far, fortunately, due to the fact that he wouldn't have run besides far. This took a long time, but yet the honourable Mordecai Mordecaiovich Burumstein entered the cabinet as though the same, but as if smaller, razed and grey.
- Ah, an old man and a stupid duck of a stupid gay rebionok - waved the hand of Mordecai Mordecaiovich at my asking look – He decided to control to purely Jewish, kosher joke. And I ordered it at the best kosher restaurant in Jerusalem. They brought them to the planes from Israel. Beautifully packed and dedicated by the self-chained rabbi that tower of David. No smaller per ethom. ... I failed and I can't idi, the offspring you must idti for possessions for eti meeting. I'm sick, but help, kak moze. I have a present: eti khornoje gag of Jerusalem itself. I'm sick, I'm not eating, you're taking it to a meeting. For a good time. At the gift. It's known how a man's tummy is empty, and he doesn't really know it. I'll give eto food, I'll give you a bum, I'll give you an egitimate. You're the 1 who wakes up the gazettes.
I was amazed due to the fact that I was not certain whether the seafood or the shrimps or the mussels were kosher, but I preferred not to speak. For Mordechai Mordecai the Kosher was what he liked: pork, bacon, and ham were kosher food for him, and seafood could be kosher. Another thing was more amazing. Mordecai Mordecaiovich Burumstein belonged to those who never, nothing and gave no 1 free. He was arrogant of it. I am not a durak, a part of free dawat’ – he said Where did this gift come from? That kindness? Why this unexpected generosity? If I thought about it, I'd know it was most suspicious. Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes (beware of the Danai even erstwhile they bring gifts) – the memory of the old Roman poet Vergilius sounded to me. I'd do better if I listened to my gut. It's not time to cry over spilled milk.
Mordecai Mordecaiovich Burumstein gave me a beautifully packed gift: dishes from the best kosher restaurant in Jerusalem, he ordered to go and greet the gathered. erstwhile I smelled it, I smelled a strange, unpleasant odor through the paper. But possibly the seafood smells like that?
What happened that night is hard to describe. hard and embarrassing, highly inappropriate, which are a real insult to reason, to average human decency, and to the eyes, ears, and nose, especially to the sense of smelling hard was an attempt, but the work of the chronicler to fight for a better next day forces me, Wacka – the progressive blogger – to describe precisely how the gathering was, this conference, this election debate without adding anything, without saying anything. A strategical gathering about the past and future elections took place in the evening in the world-famous Polin museum, a museum of the past of Polish Jews. We were allowed in, these better, selected guests by the side entrance, to pay no attention, and it was close to closing, due to the fact that I became 19th and in the museum there were only bodyguards – old grandparents moonlighting for a penny hr pay. I mean, if you're sorry, what can you bargain from a museum?
The manager of the Polin Museum greeted us in the conference room. The bald prof. with glasses, the name I can't remember, the tallness I don't know. In relation to the insignificant, he seemed tall, neither of which grew up like nettles, as he spoke to crucial shrinks, as if shrinking. An extraordinary property, but precious in our time, especially for those in positions that require flexibility and adaptability. Besides, any kind of slimy, self-adhesive way of being. A rubber man. Just the chief – the jellybean. The prof. barely looked at me, to the MPs, to the Euro MPs, or to the exministers, or to the prostrate themselves. My gift from the large Mordechai Mordecaiovich Burumstein was very happy with the jelly - principal. He called his assistants, they got cleaned up, and immediately on the additional tables set in the corridor leading to the conference area appeared an exquisite set of dishes from Mordecai.
- Eat! aid yourselves! These are dishes from the best kosher restaurant in Jerusalem. Right meal, right place. It's a miracle, it's a cymes! Kosher, best, healthiest food there is. Sky in the mouth! effort it! Eat! What a rich cabin, the advice...
You shouldn't have said that for long. The guests gladly went to the kosher delicacies of Jerusalem. People, including the top guys, love free. After a fewer minutes, the plates were empty as they swept away, and the conference guests revolved around with marciful mines. Of course, the little crucial ones had to deal with the taste, for them they lacked, but the most crucial and the most worthy ate something. I'd just forgotten the most important, that's the most crucial guest of the election. The first was Prime Minister Runner(ka). I know it sounds strange, but it's fashionable and modern: he – Prime Minister, she – Prime Minister. So the most crucial guest was Prime Minister, or Runner. Then Euro MP Conti with a very sour and marquet face; he lost the last election and ended his sweet life in Brussels. She was besides an MP from the European coalition Narcissus Baronini von Hände und Hoch. Baronini von Hände und Hoch, in turn, was cheerful like a swarve, got into the Europarliament for another term. technological circles, progressive – liberal were represented by the celebrated philosopher, ethicalist, subtle intellectual from Krakow Józef Bartmann. I don't mention tiny talkers due to the fact that it's not even worth it. The most crucial people decently and dignifiedly ate Kosher delicacies, it is worth noting that the peculiar greed for kosher and free food was demonstrated by Joseph Bartman, a philosopher but besides a taster of pure and free food. I, too, will admit honestly, wanted to cut a small bit and although I tried these miracle-clean-specialities, but the director-jewel watched at the table vigilant as this crane looked at me and so looked at me that not only at erstwhile did I take distant the judaic frics, but I felt like the last bum. Anyway, I'm going to have a taste – I thought with regret, not knowing how fortunate it was. Then the gathering began. The first talker was the erstwhile Prime Minister Runner (ka), according to the hierarchy.
- I don't know, I don't know why we lost. We had a large show, large candidates, the best you can find, and we threw everything into battle. Unfortunately, it didn't work out, really, I don't know why. I think we request experts. Experts who will analyse the results and supply prescriptions. We request to set up a committee of experts, top experts and wait for their diagnosis. I think due to the fact that I think it's natural, experts, expert advice is the most crucial thing. You don't gotta account, you don't gotta yell who's guilty, due to the fact that that kind of accounting leads to a fight and weakens us. Not a fight, not an interior fight. We request experts.
“I don’t know if the experts themselves will be enough!” the Baroness of Narcissus von Hände und Hoch was moved. What about hatred speech? We are to stay silent erstwhile they attack us, insult us, slander us!? I, the German baronina, have been challenged on the net by German whores, traitors, folk-devils! I'm chasing them, following them, suing them to court, but you know how the courts work in the governments of good change. For years, you gotta wait for a sentence, a conviction for a punk to be fined and jailed, and the punishment should be immediately. To rise to make better people out of this mob. They unpunishedly laughter at me, from my name, from my husband's title. It hurts the most. My husband's wounds! Oh, my husband, forgive me! I didn't mean to, and I brought slander and slander on you. My dear Adolf, Baron von Hände und Hoch. You, my Baron, so brave, so faithful, so generous. I'm so arrogant that I married you, that you chose me. Let them call me a traitor or a folksmaid. I'm arrogant of the folk name! It is better to be a minister in Germany, in a country of culture and modernity, a cleaning female in a German brothel than to be a Polish number or a Polish prince in this swamp of quibble, dark garden, filth and shit!
“This is not about experts, Prime Minister” said Józef Bartmann, philosopher and thinker, and he rose from outrage. With all due respect, sir, the dog is not buried here, but the dog is dead. It's not about the results, although the election results are shocking, but where are we? The truth. If you add all the voices to the pieces, called the very polite utmost right, you get 52%. So many Poles have nothing to do with insolent corruption, demolition of institutions of democratic regulation of law, vulgar, populist rhetoric, bare bribery and anti-Semitism. The moral degradation of society, which is the consequence of the exudation dominated by clerical nationalism of education and the derision of the customs of public life, the stripping of it from all ideals, is visible on the palm of the hand. This is simply a cultural problem – much deeper and more powerful than the takeover of the state by a catria of shrewd and ignorant organized into a political party. Honesty, politics, the discrimination between cynicism and honesty, has disappeared, and truthfulness has ceased to be virtue. The black script came true, 1 of the worst. They don't want to choose us. We, the better, do not want to hear, do not want our instruction, our light governments, which we have held since 1944. We and our fathers, and mothers, and grandparents, and our children. They won't and won't perceive to us.
Here, out of the broad breast of a philosopher and professor, outside of his redheaded, curly beard came out no groan, no suppressed appetite. Having quelled despair in a brave breast and having mastered with difficulty the emotion of Józek Bartmann, a philosopher, an ethicist and a steadfast fighter for truth, he continued on...:
"The autumn competition for the future of civilization of Poland seems impossible today. After all, statehood in kind II of the Polish Republic and the Polish People's Republic is our destiny. Nothing better could and can't happen to us. That's all we deserve. We and them, too, this vile riffraff, this dark Central European fat, which is no different from what killed a hebrew in the interwar 20 years, only due to the fact that it was better, smarter, more honest and cleaner. Most Poles are corrupt to specified an degree that they do not impress her with further scandals which in all average country would wipe out the government. In primitive spiritual conditions of Polish east Europe, it is simply about tribal recognition and material benefit, moral and political values represented by our elites that are no longer of any importance. Common rudeness here has become the norm and kind of the "social" Internet. The same simpleness returns to power. Whether it's a drunken, dull, superstitious nobleman in the erstwhile Republic, or any earthling semipane or another sanitation small local frustrate, or it's a quarter-smart from the advance of Gomułku's time – the same moron inactive (with short breaks) rules the country and will rule. Poles will vote for the ruling organization of simpletons and rudes as long as their pockets grin at them as they have material benefit. Only a crisis can change the situation. Let us pray for crisis, for global disaster. It's the only way we can go back to power. erstwhile the government runs out of cash and a credit line, you can think about winning. That's how it works. We can forget our values. due to the fact that we have values, we are values! Let us not be yelled at by false political correctness! Yeah, I'm better. I'm not ashamed to be like this, and I'm not ashamed to say it. People, even this dark east European mob, request to tell the truth. For our sake, for their sake. By respect.
prof. Bartmann interrupted as if he had been denied. But no 1 spoke, so he kept going.
"It is me, talking about a stupid and immoral nation, bribed by the government and indifferent to corruption, nepotism and the demolition of the state, that I show respect to people, not a writer with a politician, rumbling me in the name of the dignity of a "elector". due to the fact that moral anger is simply a manifestation of respect, and an inability to anger is an expression of contempt. It is hard to insult individual more than to say, “You cannot insult me.” That the cham and the simpleton is simply a descendant of the serf's peasant, etc., that he is someway not to blame for himself, all this is true. Only this fact does not make him any little rude or little simple. A drunk and a thief, carrying garbage into the woods and throwing plastic into the oven, beating his wife and holding a dog on a short chain, snarling at Jews and barely able to sign – is simply a more likely voter than a individual reading books, acting socially, acting politely and culturally, respecting nature and not harming animals, like myself or my friends, relatives. A fool, a chauvinist, an anti-semite, and a notorious egoist will vote for scurvy alternatively than progressive parties. If this land is always to become a modern democracy, 1 of the countries of the West, a cultural country and a law-abiding country, we request to make a generation in which the rabble, which is an easy prey to populists and fascists, will only be a tiny minority. But for that to happen, 1 must first dare to say that rudeness and modesty are their national problem and a permanent threat to democracy. If we do not face the common Cham here, we will not be able to make an ethical and cultural society. This is our occupation of the better, the chosen, the conscious. That's why we deserve more due to the fact that we give more. We have sacrificed and worked for this darker, disgusting crowd since Joseph Stalin. It's our fate, our calling, our heritage. That's why we gotta start with simple things like writing articles that remind us that society is simply a riffraff. And that this unquestionable fact has its far-reaching political consequences."
This is Józek Bartmann, a thinker from the royal castle and a worthy prof. of the oldest university in the country, abruptly interrupted his analysis and silenced as if he lacked breath. Yes, he turned red all over his face, and his eyes came out. He was not the only 1 acting unusual at the same time; others were acting at least out of character.
- Well, yes, it's very good, deep thoughts, right, and I agree with them, but, but, but... I'm in a hurry – she spoke with the apparent embarrassment of Prime Minister Runner (ka) who has been so tense in the chair for a long time, as if abruptly she got oats - I gotta go. I, uh... I remembered something. I think experts, the most crucial are experts, we request to call a committee of experts... I, I, I... I can't, experts! I'm on my way!
Premiere Runner broke off and ran to the exit. The word ran is not appropriate; the Prime Minister may have wanted to run, but the moving had her thighs so tight that she did not white, but made tiny steps. This looked like a nipponese geisha run dressed in long to ankles and a tight kimono. By the time it got to us, which means this weird-ass ex-premier run, something happened that attracted widespread attention.
"I believe that we must respect each another regardless of gender, sexual preferences, or nationality," the Narcissus of Baronini von Hände und Hoch. She spoke with large difficulty, as if through a clenched mouth, as if words would not want to pass through her throat – 1 must respect others, gays, trans..., trans-we-we-we-sty-ts – she sent the long word of the Baroness of Narcissus with difficulty – and those alleged folk-divers. Hated... These people deserve respect, not contempt. Folksdock is simply a great, wonderful man, a man of 2 cultures, 2 nations, people from the border. I knew it. Those shrimps smelled like something. Why did I eat them? God save me! Folksdouch, that sounds proud. respect gays! respect the folk-devil! It's the most precious treasure...
Baronini Narcissus von Hände und Hoch did not have time to finish what a folk-dove treasure she was, she did not endure, or alternatively it was Józek Bartmann, an ethical and philosopher, who did not endure. During the free time, you request to add, and with breaks the speech of the Baroness Narcissus the face of the prof. - the philosopher changed colour from red to blue. And all of a sudden, if he doesn't spit! If he doesn't snort! Like fire hose water, so vomited out of the mouth of the golden philosopher Józek Bartmann and struck right into the eye of the Baronina Narcissism von Hände und Hoch, for she sat other him, ending the Euro speech of a messenger with blue blood about the treasure that folksdoms and gays are to society. This was possibly a good, fitting ending to this speech. What an eye! Not 1 eye, not two, the full face of the Baroness of Narcissus dripped with returned, erstwhile meals of the thinker from Krakow. The Baronini Narcissus von Hände und Hoch besides succumbed, she besides yet gave herself up and returned dinner, dinner or possibly breakfast, all tummy contents, right on the table, on the plates, on the slab so violently that vomit splashed splashing around the sitting around the debaters, including mostly Józek Bartman. Thus, although partially Baronini von Hände und Hoch repaid prof. Bartmann for his return on his physionomy.
But no 1 thought of revenge. For a command, the most prominent debaters of the panel, erstwhile ministers, Members of parliament, were and now elected Euro MPs vomited as rapidly as it was the last act in their lives. any vomited, others did worse. any moved up, others moved down, many moved down and down. Like the professor's principal, a jellybean. His long body at the top shrinked, at the bottom lengthened, or vice versa, as if it were not the manager of an crucial state institution but a spring, or any rubbery glob or another creeping creature. I wouldn't believe that a man's body has that anticipation if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. The erstwhile Euro MP Conti looked like the worst. Initially, he did not get a condition of Mordechaj Mordecajovich's gift – he lost the election and so it was not adequate for him, the politician knows no pity – the atolls of the director-jealous, whether it had pity on the humiliated ex-Euro MP, or he felt that it was worth investing in it, only that he shared with the erstwhile Euro MP part of his condition of the seafood from a kosher restaurant in Jerusalem. I don't think he would. Ex-Euro MP Conti sat in his chair from the waist up vomited, from the waist down obe..., you know what, shaking and babbling something that was hard to understand:
I, I, uh, I did everything. I did. I was reporting, yes, to the public, but for the sake of humanity, to the deeemocracy. Foraa. Languages. My tongue! I can do that. That's all I know. And they didn't choose! They didn't choose! I lost! I've always, always, given the best! All for others. And that's why they ran me out! End! Good-bye, diet! And this! I'm dying! I don't want to live anymore!
The Euro MP Conti shuffled and gibberished, cried and vomited and sr... simultaneously. This is what politics is leading to. Politics in the purest dimension – i.e. dedication to others. Yes, there was much more. Until a modest chronicler – a progressive blogger couldn't keep up with everything. Interestingly, the little crucial participants of the conference remained sound and sound and only looked at the rapidly turning and defiling notes in mute stunning. I was fine, too. The mystery became clear erstwhile on the face of the baronini or the professor, I saw something that reminded the shrimp or the clam. The fruits of the sea can be badly poisoned – I remembered. In the second thought, I congratulated myself for not eating anything and even thanked the director-jewel in spirit for watching over me erstwhile another thought put me on my feet.
- I'll kill you! I'll kill you, you boy of a... no! I will kill as shortly as I recover! – the manager of the museum raised to me while holding his tummy bent in half he walked free to a known place. He was incapable to scream or run, and his ft dragged behind his leg, and it splattered evenly from the advanced as from the lower hole.
It's time for you, Deke, get out of here, or they'll put everything on you! And you're going to be truly bad, I thought. After all, it was not my dish that poisoned them, and Mordecai Mordecaiovich Burumsteen, and they would blame everything on me. They'll blame me. Me, not him! Mordecai Mordecaiovich set me up again!
- It's not me! Mordecai Mordecaiovich Burumstein did this to you! Mordecai Burumstein is guilty! Not me! – I cried out desperately and threw myself away.
It was about time. The vomit and diarrhea of so many people in a tight and heated area without windows, turned the conference area into a real hell for the eyes, ears, primarily for the smelling sense. It didn't help. This disgusting mixed stench burned in the mouth, throat, even felt on the skin. I ran out in a panic. I almost ran into a erstwhile MP, the current Euro MP Zuczka, who, along with his partner Mr Chichotka, was late for public debate.
- crap smells good in here. I feel like I'm at a gay party, like I'm in a gay cab. Oh, my... - Mr. Chichotek, you spelled the sole of the shoe. He accidentally stepped in the brown plank he left behind on an ironed-out post the manager – the jelly.
But I like the odor and the taste. It is the odor and taste of our love – said tenderly and with a dream Mr. Chichotek. Euro MP Zuczek just patted his partner on his butt.
I don't know. I ran away. And I'm moving distant so far. Against me, the investigation of the CBA, ABC, BeBeDe, and many another secret and public police, organizations and state services has begun. Apparently, the FBI, Mossad, and the national Constitution Protection Office (BfV), which means German counterintelligence are besides bringing me in. Mossad – Israeli interview for prof. Bartmann, national Office for the Euro MP Baronina Narcyza von Hände und Hoch. For what Americans, I have no idea. But they put me in the 10 most wanted terrorists in the world. In general, there's a terrible chrysus. The most was the Baronine Narcissus. She was inactive screaming from the hospital... Could she have screamed? Not besides much with her condition, dehydration, weakness, etc. But the Baronini Narcissus von Hände und Hoch gave interviews where she commanded that it was an assassination effort on her life! That fascist populist government tried to execution her with poison. That she is simply a martyr to liberal democracy, freedom and rights of LGBTiBiQiZiPi...And I was the government's hatchet! What do I do? That's my cut. I'm not guilty, the D.A. is chasing a BOLO on the charges of poisoning quite a few people, attempted murder, or attempted assassination on the highest government. What kind of poison is that? That's it, rotten seafood. If it's a biological weapon, it's known for millennia. You shouldn't have eaten them. And they blame me! The Burumstein Mordecai of course disowned everything and blamed it on me. He testified that I tried to poison him first, fixing the poison he tested from the best kosher restaurant in Jerusalem, then others. I spoke to him on the telephone the night after that. Sam called me. Mordechay Moredecaiovich Burumstein, although very sick himself, was delighted with my communicative of the debate.
- Yeah, and they're fine! I am sick, they should suffer’! The 3rd election was prograted. They don't send anything else. Duraki losers! Let them learn, the kak will win.’ If not, let him die, let him shit’ and gigajut’ on smirt’!
I'm swimming now. I enlisted on 1 of the yachts that sail around the Maldives. Light work, good food, turquoise ocean and warm sun... What more do you want? Why should I come back? On the another hand, to see a professor, chosen from the chosen, and a associate of the Folksdom tribe, as they vomit on each other, not as usual, together, according to us, is simply a large rarity. Or obesr... and the puking erstwhile Euro MP Conti, throwing out what's best. Value in itself. In order to see this, it was worth to go to this conference and bring the poisoned gift of the large Mordecai Mordecaiovich. That's why I don't even have a peculiar regret for Mordecai Mordecaiovich Burumstein for setting me up again and taking advantage of my naivety, any time in a row.
Who knows? possibly I'll come back? Let's let the large deal settle down first. Apparently, Józek Bartman, a sage from Krakow, had already left the hospital. The philosopher came in, the shadow of the philosopher came out. I think I'll be back erstwhile I get any rest. I'll burn in the sun of the tropics. work calls. erstwhile is this going to dry...? When's the next election? individual has to fight for a better humanity tomorrow. If not me, then who? If not now, when? 1 thing's for sure. From those events I avoid, like a fire of seafood dishes, and Jewish, pure, or kosher cuisine. These are not dishes for my common, simple stomach.
Copyrighted material - all rights reserved. Further distribution of the text only with the approval of the author.
Today the text from a fewer years ago, from the last parliamentary elections, but I think it has not become obsolete. We have an election. Another election. Actors change, but art, theater, the show's inactive the same. And so played.
