Gender war is simply a way to nowhere

The discussion which is inactive taking place on the male work to establish a household shows how crucial this subject is for young generations of Poles. It can be said that the issue of "marriage" is presently at the heart of the crisis of civilization, and it seems that older generations are not full aware of this. In fact, the discussion shows how much injury people have in this subject. The effort to conclude nonsubjective is very hard to deal with individual experience. Rather, authors are expected to take into account each individual (obviously sad) example, which is impossible.

The concept of work is conditioned by circumstances, including historical and cultural circumstances. another Poles had responsibilities in social life, being under occupations, others in the 21st century. He has reason, however, in the light of the teaching of the Church, to effort to realize the social reality surrounding him and to identify moral responsibilities that may be a cure for the problems of this planet (of course not the ultimate, man does not have specified power). In a well-formed conscience, looking at Poland today, we can conclude about the work to establish a healthy, believing family. Not only do we request to realize it, not just effort to realize what it is. right they are in favour of specified a duty, but we must besides adopt a free decision to carry it out, if our conscience recognizes specified a duty. This has nothing to do with slavery, murderism, or blind obedience, so abroad of Catholic religion.

Of course, there is another problem here, which is the large difficulty of the possible implementation of the work adopted in the conscience. We know that the manhood crisis is confronted with the womanhood crisis. We know how the patterns and fashions of this planet conflict with this view, but I will repeat the thesis from the erstwhile text: our task is not to adopt the patterns of this world, but to know and realize God's will, even if in a given cultural context it is simply a request seemingly exceeding human capabilities, in this case a average man. Besides, this is not about seeking the guilty 1 or condemning those who disagree with us. On the good news, for example, adult men did not stick their own smartphones at the age of fifteen, but alternatively their parents, frequently without any control, said, "Let him take care of something."

So many women over the years grew up in a home where parents said that with matrimony she could easy wait for her to play first and research the world. The situation is so socially complex. The function of a believer is simply to constantly update the ways of the Gospel and to effort to realize it. This is not easy and not always succeeds, so Christianity has a image of mercy, gentleness and patience towards its children. It turns into firmness only erstwhile individual tries to “change” God’s way, tries to tamper with them. Even if we sometimes usage harsher words in a man’s way, a man in his concern for the weaker ones must show his heart besides to those young men who face these problems and who ask hard questions if they truly are looking for the truth.

Taking "all possible efforts" is primarily a vital appeal to all those who (for various reasons) have given up. In the planet of God's gifts (and the sacrament of matrimony is no doubt) there is no pelagianism. Man must do his part, knowing that his own effort is not able to accomplish everything, that he needs God's grace.

Hence, we should besides catch a refreshing distance from desperation and possible tension to start a household here and now, which can have negative consequences. However, it is hard to see today’s reality as a major problem for young men. Truly, many of them could simply convert, little run distant from their lives, which in this planet of large moral struggles happens very often. For this reason, not only does the Church talk about establishing a family, but Benedict XVI's mouth encourages (it is not a hard rule) to a year's engagement, to a period that allows the spouses to get to know each another better, but it is besides better to jointly realize the greatness of God's gift, the sacrament of marriage.

Here, too, comes this subject of romanticism, which is an inherent and natural component of women's-men's relations. Apart from the apparent cliché that this is not the center of a Catholic view of marriage, it is impossible to hold to the truth, to avoid it or to despise it. However, this is simply a substance for a much longer text. I just want to make 1 point here. This period of union and engagement is besides needed for this reason. And this is to free ourselves of any romanticist illusion that may blind us (this is to clear our feelings of what leads us distant from the fact of reality, not in the sense that all feelings are like this). On the another hand, it can awaken in us a constant and faithful will to know another individual a clean and healthy feeling of attachment that may not have been there at first. In any case, there is any tension between the fear of having a fast relation with individual and the excessive hold in starting a family. This is well summed up by Pope Francis in the endorsement of Amoris Laetitia (p. 132): "Because of the seriousness of this public commitment in love, it cannot be a hasty decision, but for the same reason it cannot be deferred for an indefinite period."

The texts that appeared on the PCh24 portal (links below-ed.) utilized arguments in the field of Catholic religion and were addressed to Catholics. In online discussions, they were frequently flooded with a sociological description of the full reality. As believers, we have the right to effort to live in harmony with the Gospel and encourage another brothers and sisters in Christ? Clue of my erstwhile text was the opinion that a man, working with the Holy Spirit, would dare to be a man of faith, so that he would dare to put himself on Christ, on His will, knowing first of all His Science, despite the large difficulties he would face in this world. Same goes for women. I will besides remind you that the realization of the Gospel does not automatically mean success in the worldly life, the ease of the way – on the contrary. I am aware of the various difficulties young men face in trying to decision distant from loneliness to marriage. Furthermore, it is fair to admit that many noble believing young women (yes, they are!) besides endure from the sins of men, uncleanness, addictions, laziness, etc.

Let's talk about a subject that's rather crucial to knowing male-female relationships and, consequently, it's crucial to de-deify them, which is the natural temptation of all single bachelor and all single virgin. The right course is measured by God, not by the approval of the other sex (which may sometimes overlap and sometimes not). Many young men are terrified of defeat. He is afraid of losing his “face” – especially to women. He fears that this or any another female might take a negative opinion of him. And that's besides bad, due to the fact that this experience is needed and teaches a small humility. Not in the sense that a believer is to be continually a victim of fate, but trust in God, that He knows better, makes it not hard to remove himself from male pride, which frequently encapsulates young men in implacable walls of a fortress into which he does not let anyone. Most often, it turns out to be only temporary and healthy distance to women. Women who are people like us. Of whom Tolkien wrote to his son, as “co-survivors in a sea crash, not guiding stars”[1].

Many men were given a name. Years of contempt towards Polish men, constantly mocking them on the main portals, made them feel humiliated. another men can “restore their name”, reconstruct dignity, which can become a motivation to effort to start a healthy family. The image that emerges from sex war, from feminist ideology, or from red pilla is much blacker than reality. The words “Do not be afraid!” in the Gospels are not by accident the most frequently appearing sentence. Therefore, despite all this, 1 of the social responsibilities of believing men, especially against another men, is simply a hard "no" to spread nihilism or hopelessness (in this case in the context of male-female relations). And here, gentlemen, we can't let go. Despair and senselessness, even the 1 firmly embedded in hard experiences, will never be a solution to problems. There's no life in this desert, so there's no point going that way.

And at the end, 1 last remark. The critical voices that have been heard in many young men have come to me as a surprise that something good can be said about women. It reminds us of the parable of the workers in the vineyard and these refreshing words: “Am I not allowed to do what I want with my own? Are you looking at this incorrect eye that I am good”? (Mt 20: 15). I do not know how to preach the praise of household and matrimony can be based not on God, but on your experiences, or on biological-psychological evolutionary theories that describe man only by the prism of the effects of first sin. On the contrary, by observing Catholic marriages and families, wisdom makes it more right to admit the value of faithfulness, kindness, and patience. Gentlemen: “Do not harden your hearts” (Ps 95:8). However, the realism of life encourages us to keep our hearts from losing the sensitivity and nobility of the right man, which is healthy, needed and possible.

Michał Kmieć

[1] J.R.R. Tolkien, Tolkien on the biological and cultural sex, “From letter to Michael Tolkien 6-8 March 1941”, https://tolkniety.blogspot.com/2014/01/tolkien—o—pci—biological—and—cultural.html?fbclid=IwAR3MrbGstiYkXjS2uMABVmilUGEmyd7pMbzngMJOrF_P2GCSzOl4uOPzQJ0&m=1 (accessed 26.06.2025).

Paweł Chmielewski: Obligations of men. Don't criticize women – just do your job

Man – no 1 says it will be easy! On the canvas of the text by ed. Paweł Chmielewski